Saturday, November 19, 2011

Just Being in the Sun Doesn't Make You Bright

When I was in high school we had friends from Australia come visit, and I was fascinated by the idea of Christmas in the summer. (I was also fascinated by mandatory participation in voting, but since I promised myself I would NOT talk about politics on this blog, I won't go into that.) The idea of "opposite seasons" seemed rather odd...but now that I live in Phoenix, I experience it for myself.

Just as it starts to get nice enough to be outside, the stores start ridding themselves of "summer stuff" and bringing in things that are much less useful. You'd think someone would send a note to Target headquarters: sales on outdoor gear are much higher when one does not fry when stepping out of doors to USE THEM. Anyway, I benefitted from The Summer Purge when I got a hammock stand for half price awhile ago.

I've had a hammock that I bought right after I put the offer on my house. I understood the nightmarish process of the short sale, so I figured purchasing a $17 hammock at Ross would be a sign of good faith - just in case God wondered if the six offers I'd put on short sale homes in the past had destroyed my belief in the real estate process. Clearly my eventual homebuying success was the result of an amazing realtor and not the hammock, but I was willing to invest however possible in this place.

Anyway, yesterday was perfect hammock weather so I tackled the assembly.


I very quickly followed the instructions, popped pipes together and voila! I had this monster.


The first lesson I learned about hammocks was that apparently there are different kinds of hooks. I'm pretty sure it's not supposed to barely rest inside the hook like this...


I really wanted to take a nap in the hammock, however, so I figured I'd take my chances and balance very carefully. I stood back to "connect" (i.e., barely connect and hope for the best) the other side. At this point, I finally realized I had a problem.


This is one of those great opportunities for self-observation. I did not at any point question my overall skills, I simply assumed I had constructued the stand wrong. I suppose self-confidence is great, but it was quite a blow to my ego when I realized that I had NOT realized I bought a baby hammock. Seriously, this thing is TINY! And I only realized that after I'd torn the stand apart and reconstructed it while measuring every single piece to make sure I was using the right pipes in the right steps. Needless to say, there was no relaxing in the hammock yesterday.


Most people would never share this story but since I'd been crazy enough to share part of the ridiculous process with some friends yesterday, I decided to pass on my suffering in order to amuse you.

Given the total failure of logic and analytical skills I demonstrated, however, I didn't think GWU would appreciate being featured so prominently on my sweatshirt in the first photograph of this meltdown. This version's less likely to make them drop in the US News and World Report school rankings due to my insanity...


The bright side: I got some quality time with the hummingbirds while I was outside!

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